This blew my mind...
14th Edition of But Yea...
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Hey Boo!
This 30 year old life has been interesting… Especially after being on an active healing journey assisted by my therapist. I feel like just hitting a point where the revelations from therapy are consistently blowing my mind. If I think back to my 20 year old self and the revelations I’ve had just even in the last year, my world would’ve been shattered had known then what I know now. Going into therapy this summer & being told “you are wishing their circumstances will change instead of changing your behavior”. 20 year old me could not imagine in a million years she would be the problem or even contributing to the breakdown of any situation. But yea…let’s get into more revelations that would blow my 20 year old mind.
I would say so far into my 30 year old life, I have been on quite a ‘redefining’ journey. I remember my therapist said you will wake up after 30 and be like I actually don’t care & boy was she right! I have so many revelations of things that I’m like why’d I care so much about that?! why does that matter?! Here’s 3 revelations that have been pretty important to me so far:
You don’t have to make a spectacle every time your feelings get hurt
I used to be quick to villainize someone mainly a guy when my feelings were hurt. After earlier this year learning that sometimes do nothing & also how to take a beat so you can respond instead of reacting. Not gonna lie I still want to throw in a little razzle dazzle sometimes but I know that’s not very productive. It’s been so essential for me to learn to give myself space to feel my feelings, validate for MYSELF how I’m feeling before deciding to respond. I’m still learning here but I’m light years away from where I was when I would be reacting expecting someone to know what I was feeling when I barely even knew what I was feeling.
Me to Me You can hold space for people when they don’t do what you expect
This is in friendships, romantically & for family just period. Similar to number 1, we can be quick to villainize or be so cut & dry when people don’t do what we expect. This could be a misstep, a bad day or they just decided to do things an alternative way. We are all capable to still hold space of love, support & restoration for them. It’s hard because we all want the best of people or what we deem as best but that’s not realistic. My therapist would be so proud of that statement.
Me to Me Get a life,My G!
I used to work so hard in my early 20s, which is normal. Sometimes I would forget the other parts of life. I was always worried about money & survival, happy to begun my evolution from that world. It also helps to have your own life when you start your dating journey because once you let dating takeover your mind & neglect your world, you’ll make that someone else’s problem. Shoutout to my anxious attachment gorls!
These lessons as I reflect even blow my 30 year old mind. It’s been interesting what’s been coming up for me as I go on this journey to redefining life for myself & what I want for my future. What things are you redefining for yourself?
Yall! I have been reading this book & it has been such a good compliment to my ‘redefining’ era I’m in! It’s called “The Way of Integrity” by Martha Beck! It’s all about getting to your true self, here are some of my favorite takeaways so far:
“If you don’t walk your true path, you don’t find your true people.”
“Mount Delectable — The mountain of everything we think will make life a “success”. Focusing on climbing this mountain the mountain of “better” often still leaves us empty when we’re already of course. It’s about culture not nature.”
That quote really helped me recognize this season I’m in, I think once we get to the point where we’re like “actually it’s not worth the hike” is when the real work begins!
I can’t wait to talk more about this book in future editions after I reflect more on what I’m learning! So far though it’s really blowing me away! I highly recommend reading it & stay tuned to my IG stories, I’ll be talking more in real time over there.
That’s all for this week boos, we’ll talk more soon! Be sure to share something that resonated with you this week on socials or with someone you know!